DucktheGWREngineFan9's Take Along Whistles and Sneezes (George Carlin) Remake.

Characters

 * Gordon
 * Scared Gordon (Gordon Takes A Tumble)
 * Thomas
 * James
 * Henry
 * Angry Henry (Henry and the Elephant)
 * Percy
 * Edward
 * Green and Yellow Coach
 * Red Express Coaches
 * Emily's Green and Yellow Coach
 * Green Branchline Coaches

Transcript

 * Narrator: Gordon was cross.
 * Gordon: Why should Henry have a new shape?
 * Narrator: He grumbled.
 * Gordon: A shape good enough for me is good enough for him. He goes gallivanting off, leaving to do his work, and comes back saying how happy he feels. It's disgraceful.
 * (music plays)
 * Gordon: And there's another thing: Henry whistles too much. No respectable engine ever whistles loudly at stations. It isn't wrong, but we just don't do it.
 * (Henry feels sad)
 * Narrator: Poor Henry didn't feel happy anymore.
 * Percy: Never mind.
 * Narrator: Whispered Percy.
 * Percy: I'm glad you're home again. I like your whistling.
 * (Gordon puffs away)
 * Gordon: Goodbye, Henry.
 * (his whistle blows)
 * Narrator: Called Gordon.
 * Gordon: We're glad to have you with us again. But remember what I said.
 * (Henry, with some green branchline coaches, arrives at Wellsworth while his whistle blows)
 * Narrator: Later, Henry stopped at Edward's station.
 * Edward: Hello, Henry.
 * Narrator: Said Edward.
 * Edward: You look splendid. I was pleased to hear your happy whistle yesterday.
 * Henry: Thank you, Edward.
 * Narrator: Smiled Henry.
 * (Edward and Henry hear a whistling sound)
 * Henry: Shh, shh. Can you hear something?
 * Edward: It sounds like Gordon.
 * Narrator: Said Edward.
 * Edward: And it ought to be Gordon. But Gordon never whistles like that.
 * (Gordon can't stop whistling as he thunders down the hill, hauling his green and yellow Express coach, two red Express coaches, and other green and white Express coach)
 * Narrator: It was Gordon. He came rushing down the hill of a tremendous rate. He didn't look at Henry and he didn't look at Edward. He screamed straight through the station and disappeared.
 * (Gordon runs past Edward and Henry)
 * Edward: Well.
 * Narrator: Said Edward.
 * Henry: It isn't wrong.
 * Narrator: Chuckled Henry.
 * Henry: But we just don't do it.
 * Narrator: And he told Edward what Gordon had said.
 * (Gordon goes around the bend of the hill and still can't stop)
 * Narrator: Meanwhile, Gordon screeched along the line. The noise was awful.
 * (Gordon stops at Knapford)
 * Narrator: At the station, everyone covered their ears. Sir Topham Hatt covered his ears too.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Take him away!
 * Narrator: He bellowed.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: And stop that noise!
 * (Gordon leaves to get his whistle fixed after he gets uncoupled from his coaches)
 * Narrator: Gordon puffed sadly away. But he wouldn't stop whistling until two fitters climbed up and knocked his whistle valve in place.
 * (one of the them hit his whistle with a ball-peen hammer)
 * Narrator: That night, Gordon slunked into the shed.
 * (Gordon's whistle blows as he comes in)
 * Narrator: He was glad it was empty.
 * (James and Henry come in)
 * Henry: It isn't wrong.
 * Narrator: Murmured Henry to no one in particular.
 * Henry: But we just don't do it.
 * (Percy comes in too)
 * Narrator: No one mentioned whistles.
 * (the scene fades from night to day as Henry, with Gordon's green and yellow Express coach and two red Express coaches, speeds along the main line)
 * Narrator: Next morning, Henry was enjoying himself enormously.
 * Henry: I feel so well, I feel so well.
 * Narrator: He sang.
 * Coaches: Trickety-trock, trickety-trock.
 * Narrator: Hummed his coaches.
 * (Henry sees the boys)
 * Narrator: Then he saw some boys on a bridge.
 * Henry: Peep-peep. Hello.
 * Narrator: He whistled.
 * (he goes under the bridge, but the glass shatters)
 * Henry: Ohh.
 * Narrator: He called. The boys didn't wave and take his number. They thought it fun to drop stones on him instead.
 * (the coaches' windows are broken)
 * Coaches: They've broken our glass, they've broken our glass.
 * Narrator: Sobbed the coaches.
 * (everyone was out)
 * Narrator : The passengers weren't hurt, but they were cross.
 * Passengers: Call the police!
 * Henry's Driver: No.
 * Narrator: Said the driver.
 * Henry's Driver: Leave it to Henry and me.
 * Passengers: What will you do?
 * Narrator: They asked.
 * Passengers: Can you keep a secret?
 * Henry: Yes, yes.
 * Henry's Driver: Well then.
 * Narrator: Said the driver.
 * Henry's Driver: Henry is going to sneeze at those boys.
 * (Henry feels happy about what his driver said before he continues on)
 * (Henry arrives at Lower Tidmouth)
 * Narrator: Lots of people were at the station just before the bridge. They wanted to see what would happen.
 * Henry's Driver: Henry has plenty of ashes.
 * Narrator: Said the driver.
 * Henry's Driver: Please keep all windows shut until we haved passed the bridge. Henry's is excited as we are. Aren't you, old fellow?
 * Narrator: Henry felt more stuffed up than excited.
 * (Henry leaves Lower Tidmouth)
 * (the three boys are on the bridge, beginning to throw stones)
 * Narrator: Soon, they could see the boys. And they all had stones.
 * Henry's Driver: Are you ready, Henry?
 * Narrator: Said his driver.
 * Henry's Driver: Sneeze hard when I tell you.
 * (Henry waits to sneeze)
 * Henry's Driver: Now.
 * Narrator: He said.
 * Henry: Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-atchoo!
 * (Henry sneezes at the boys and they were covered in ashes)
 * Henry's Driver: Well done, Henry.
 * Narrator: Laughed his driver.
 * (Henry's whistle blows as he passes Gordon running with seven freight cars and a caboose)
 * Narrator: Henry went home, hoping that next time he saw Gordon and the boys, they would have learned not to be so mean.