The Little Mer-Pureheart part 14 - Dinner in the Castle ("Les Poissons")

(Cut to castle dining room. Mighty Mouse and Paddington are sitting at a large dining room table with Mighty Mouse looking out the window at the ocean.) (Pearl Pureheart emerges into the dining room, wearing frilly blue dress, light blue bloomers, and no shoes.) (Pearl Pureheart starts combing her fur with a fork. They look dumbfounded and she is embarrased. She sees Paddington about to smoke a pipe and brightens.) (She blows the pipe's contents into his face. Mighty Mouse laughs.) (Cut to Count Duckula watching someone cook. He is humming to himself.) Les Chame Elyeses Maurice Chevailer (That someone is revealed to be a white duck with an orange beak and webbed-feet and gray sideburns, wearing spectacles, a chef's hat, a white overcoat, and no pants or shoes. His name is Danger Mouse.) Les poissons How I love les poissons (He cuts off a fish's head. Cut to Count Duckula, who cringes and looks like he is biting his nails.) And to serve little fish (On the next three chops, Count Duckula recoils.) Then I pull out the bones Ah, mais oui Ca c'est toujours delish (Count Duckula looks like he is about to throw up.) Les poissons (He laughs in rhythm.) With the cleaver, I hack them in two (Then Count Duckula goes face to face with half a dead fish. Count Duckula makes a silly face and looks like he is going to scream. Cut to the shadow of Danger Mouse.) And I serve it up fried 'Cause I love little fishes Don't you? (Count Duckula hides under a lettuce leaf and tiptoes.) Prepared in ze classic technique First you pound the fish flat with a mallet (On "pound", Danger Mouse punds the fish with his mallet, and Count Duckula gets sent flying in the air.) Give the belly a slice (Timothy cringes harder while hiding.) 'Cause that makes it taste nice (Danger Mouse picks up a lettuce leaf and realizes that Count Duckula was hiding under it.) What is zis? How on earth could I miss Such a sweet little succulent mouse? Quel dommage What a loss Here we go In ze sauce (He throws Duckula in a bowl of sauce and then throws a dab of flour on him.) I think just a dab (Duckula sneezes before Ludwig von Drake takes him out of the bowl and stuffs him with bread crumbs.) It don't hurt 'Cause you're dead And you're certainly lucky you are (Duckula spits out the bread crumbs with a wheeze.) In my big silver pot Toodle loo Mon poisson Au revoir! (Duckula springs back onto the counter, and Danger Mouse grabs him with what looked like a pitchfork.) (Timothy bites Ludwig von Drake's beak, and a battle ensues.) (Count Duckula jumps away from him just as Danger Mouse lands his gloved his hand in the frying pan. Again, he screams in pain, just as the frying pan landed on his webbed foot. He holds his foot and jumps around around saying, "Ow!" seven times. Then he takes a bunch of knives and throws them at Duckula, who hides under a counter. Danger Mouse is sent over there, ready to slice and dice. Then Duckula throws the bowl of sauce on Danger Mouse's head. Now Danger Mouse is mad as he takes his cleaver and slices the counter. But he notices that Duckula is gone and notices that Duckula runs to a shelf full of plates and pans. Danger Mouse runs with a mallet, and Duckula hides behind the plates just as Danger Mouse jumped, crashing into the shelves.)
 * Paddington Bear/Grimsby: Oh, Mighty Mouse, be reasonable. Nice young ladies just don't swim around, rescuing people in the middle of the ocean and then flutter off into oblivion like some -
 * Mighty Mouse/Eric: I'm tellin' you, Paddington, she was REAL! I'm gonna find that girl. And I'm gonna marry her.
 * Gadget Hackwrench/Carlotta: (chuckling) Come on honey. Don't be shy.
 * Paddington Bear/Grimsby: Oh, Mighty Mouse, isn't she a vision?
 * Mighty Mouse/Eric: You look - wonderful.
 * Paddington Bear/Grimsby: Come come come, you must be famished. (pulls out a chair so that Pearl could sit in it) Let me help you my dear. There we go. Ah! Quite comfy? Uh. It's...it's not often that we have such a lovely dinner guest, eh Mighty Mouse?
 * Paddington Bear/Grismby: Uh, do you like it? (Pearl takes the pipe from him.) It is rather fine.
 * Gadget Hackwrench/Carlotta: Oh, my!
 * Mighty Mouse/Eric: (clears throat) So sorry, Paddington.
 * Gadget Hackwrench/Carlotta: Why, Mighty Mouse! That's the first time I've seen you smile in weeks!
 * Paddington Bear/Grimsby: (wiping the soot from his face) Yeah, very amusing. Gadget, my dear, what's for dinner?
 * Gadget Hackwrench/Carlotta: Oooh, you're gonna love it! The professor's been fixing his specialty, stuffed crab.
 * Danger Mouse/Chef Louis: Nouvelle cuisine
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: Les poissons
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: Love to chop
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: First I cut off their heads
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: Les poissons
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: I pull out what's inside
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: Here's something for tempting the palate
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: Then you slash through the skin
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: Then you rub some salt in
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: Zut alors, I have missed one! (He picks up Count Duckula and starts to sing again.) Sacre bleu
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: Now some flour
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: Now I stuff you with bread
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: 'Cause it's gonna be a-hot
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: What is this?
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: Ow!

(Cut to dining room. Suddenly, a huge crash is heard.) (Back to kitchen, which is now a total mess. Danger Mouse is frantically looking for Duckula.) (Cut back to dining room.) (Pearl lifts her own plate cover and signals for Duckula to hide there. Duckula rushes across while no one is looking.) (Pearl nods vigorously, leaning heavily on her plate's cover.) (Then he realizes that his dinner plate is suddenly empty.)
 * Gadget Hackwrench/Carlotta: I think I'd better go see what Danger Mouse is up to.
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: (angrily) Come out, you little pipsqueak, and FIGHT LIKE A MAN!
 * Gadget Hackwrench/Carlotta: Danger Mouse! What are you doing?
 * Danger Mouse/Louis: Well, I...I was just...er, I'm sorry, madame. (flashes a grin while Gadget Hackwrench scoffs and storms back to the dining room.)
 * Paddington Bear/Grimsby: You know, Mighty Mouse, perhaps our young guest might enjoy seeing some of the sights of the kingdom. Something in the way of a tour?
 * Mighty Mouse/Eric: I'm sorry, Paddington, what was that?
 * Paddington Bear/Grimsby: You can't spend all your time moping about, you need to get out. Do something, have a life. (Paddington lifts his plate's cover to reveal Duckula cowering down in the salad.) Get your mind off -
 * Mighty Mouse/Eric: Easy, Paddington, easy.
 * Mighty Mouse/Eric: It's not a bad idea. If she's interested. Well - whaddaya say? Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow?
 * Paddington Bear/Grimsby: Wonderful! Now, let's eat before this mouse wanders off my plate.

(Fade to Pearl Pureheart watching Mighty Mouse and Dale from balcony.) (He sees Pearl Pureheart and waves. She is embarassed and goes back inside.)
 * Mighty Mouse/Eric: Come here boy! (imitates growling)

(Pearl Pureheart is now wearing blue footy pajamas with white snowflakes on them. She is getting ready for bed by combing her fur with the fork.) (Cut to Pearl taking off the covers as if she was getting into bed. She sits on her bed, turns around, pulls up the covers, lays her head down, closes her eyes, and falls asleep.) (He sees Pearl Pureheart is already asleep.. Then he changes into a green grass skirt, a purple lei, and a red flower behind his left ear to wear as his pajamas and walks onto the pillow.) (Then he blows out the candle and falls asleep on the pillow.)
 * Count Duckula/Sebastian: (takes the lettuce leaf off of himself) This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day of my life. I hope you appreciate what I go through for you, young lady.
 * Count Duckula/Sebastian: Now, we got to make a plan to get that boy to kiss you. Tomorrow, when he takes you for that ride, you gotta look your best. You're gonna bat your eyes like this. (He demonstrates, batting his eyes. Then he demonstrates, again, by puckering up his lips.) You're gonna pucker up your lips like this. And then,...
 * Count Duckula/Sebastian: Hm. You are hopeless, child. You know that? Completely hopeless.