Linkladdin part 1 - "Arabian Nights"/A Dark Night

(Disney and Sega Productions Logo appear)

Disney and Sega Productions presents

Linkladdin

Kuzco/Peddler (singing): Oh I come from a land, From a faraway place, Where the caravan camels roam, Where they cut off your ear, Where it's flat and immense, If they don't like your face, And the heat is intense, It's barbaric, but hey--it's home! When the wind's at your back, And the sun's from the west, And the sand in the glass is right, Come on down, Stop on by Hop a carpet and fly To another Arabian night, Arabian nights, Like Arabian days, More often than not Are hotter than hot In a lot of good ways Arabian nights, 'Neath Arabian moons, A fool off his guard Could fall and fall hard Out there on the dunes. (now speaks) Ah, Salaam and good evening to you worthy friend. Please, please, come closer-- (Camera zooms in hitting duckula in face) Too close, a little too close. (Camera zooms back out to Cut) There. Welcome to Agrabah. City of mystery, of enchantment, and the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan, on sale today, come on down! Heh, heh. Look at this! Yes! Combination hookah and coffee maker--also makes Julienne fries. Will not break (taps it on table), will not--(it falls apart)--it broke. Ooohhh! Look at this! Pulls out Tupperware) I have never seen one of these intact before. This is the famous Dead Sea Tupperware. Listen. (Pries it open, makes raspberry sound.) Ah, still good. (Camera begins to pan to right. Kuzco hurries to catch it.) Wait, don't go! (Stop pan.) I can see that you're only interested in the exceptionally rare. I think then, you would be most rewarded to consider...this. (Kuzco pulls the Magic Lamp out from his sleeve.) Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts. (Another pan, this one slower to left. Again, Kuzco rushes to catch up.) This is no ordinary lamp! It once changed the course of a young man's life. A young man who liked this lamp was more than what he seemed. A diamond in the rough. Perhaps you would like to hear the tale? (Kuzco pours shiny sand from the lamp into his hand.) It begins on a dark night (Kuzco throws sand into the sky, where it forms a starry nightscape.), where a dark man waits, with a dark purpose.

(Camera tilts down to find Danny sitting on his horse and Tito on his shoulder. Nostaglic Critic comes riding up to the pair.)

Danny/Jafar: You...are late.

Nostaglic Critic/Gazeem: A thousand apologies, O patient one.

Danny/Jafar: You have it, then?

Nostaglic Critic/Gazeem: I had to slit a few throats to get it. (Pulls out half of the medallion. Danny reaches out for it, but Katnip yanks it back.) Ah, ah, ahhh! The treasure! (Pingu squawks as he flies by and grabs the medallion.) Ouch!

Danny/Jafar: Trust me, my pungent friend. You'll get what's coming to you.

Tito/Iago: What's coming to you! Awk!

(Danny pulls out the second half of the medallion. He connects them, and the insect medallion begins to glow. Finally, it flies out of Danny's hand, scaring the horses, and is off towards the dunes.)

Danny/Jafar: Quickly, follow the trail! Faster!

(All ride off, following the glowing speck of light, until it reaches a large dune.  It separates into two and the halves plunge into the dune. All that remains are two glowing points of light on the dune. But then the dune begins to rise up, transforming into a giant lion's head, with the glowing points serving as the eyes.)

Danny/Jafar: At last, after all my years of searching, the cave of wonders!

Tito/Iago: Awk! Cave of wonders!

Nostaglic Critic/Gazeem: By Allah!

Danny/Jafar: Now, remember! Bring me the lamp. The rest of the treasure is yours, but the lamp is mine!

(Nostaglic Critic starts to approach the lion's mouth, which forms the entrance to the cave. He chuckles as he goes.)

Tito/Iago: Awk, the lamp! Awk, the lamp! (Now that Tito and Danny are alone, Tito opens up in normal English.) Jeez, where'd ya dig this bozo up?

(Danny puts his finger to his lips and shushes him. Nostaglic Critic reaches the cave, but is blown away by the roar of the cave's speaking.)

Cave: Who disturbs my slumber?

Nostaglic Critic: It is I, Critic, a humble thief.

Cave: Know this. Only one may enter here. One whose worth lies far within. A diamond in the rough.

(Nostaglic Critic turns to Danny with a questioning look.)

Danny/Jafar: What are you waiting for? Go on!

(Nostaglic Critic hesitates, then moves one foot inside the cave. With great apprehension, he plants his foot down. Nothing happens. Relieved, he begins his trek again. Then another roar comes. He turns back, but the lion's mouth slams shut and the dune collapses back to normal. All that are left are Danny, Tito, and the two separated halves of the medallion.)

Danny/Jafar: Nooooo!

Cave: Seek thee out, the diamond in the rough.

(Tito unburied himself from the sand, coughing as he does so.)

Tito/Iago: I can't believe it. I just don't believe it. We're never gonna get a hold of that stupid lamp! Just forget it. Look at this. Look at this. I'm so ticked off that I'm molting!

(He flies up to Danny's shoulder.)

Danny/Jafar: Patience, Tito. Patience. Nostaglic was obviously less than worthy.

Tito/Iago: (Extremely sarcastically) Oh, there's a big surprise. That's an incred--I think I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from not surprise! What're we gonna do? We got a big problem here,a big prob-

(Danny pinches his beak shut.)

Danny/Jafar: Yes, we do. Only one may enter. I must find this one, this...diamond in the rough.