The Wizard of Oz (Disney and Sega Style) Alternate Ending Transcript


 * Zelda/Dorothy: Oh, oh, come back. Oh, come back. Please don't go with out me. Please come back.
 * Sentator Masterson/Man from sky: I can't come back! I don't know how it works! Goodbye folks!
 * (They wave goodbye)
 * Zelda/Dorothy: Oh no. I'll never get home.
 * Goofy/Cowardly Lion: Stay with us then, Zelda. We love ya! We don't wantchya to go. Haaaah.
 * Zelda/Dorothy: Oh... that's very kind of you but this could never be like Kansas.
 * Paddington/Tin Man: (points to sky) Look, Dorothy! There's someone who could help you.
 * (A Giant bubble comes down with Glinda to appear)
 * Zelda/Dorothy: Oh, oh my.
 * (Angelica/Glinda approaches the gang)
 * Zelda/Dorothy: Oh, will you help me? Can you help me?
 * AngelicaGlinda: You don't need to be helped any longer. You've always had the power to go back to Kansas.
 * Zelda/Dorothy: (angry) Excuse me?!
 * Orinoco/Scarecrow: Why didn't you tell her before?
 * Angelica/Glinda: Because she wouldn't have believe me.
 * Zelda/Dorothy: Are you out of your F*CKING MIND?!?! You came down in a big bubble!! I would've believed anything that you'd said. If you told me the only way to get home is to lick to lollipop Gill, I would've done it!
 * (A midget with a lollipop appears disappointed)
 * Goofy/Cowardly Lion: Then you would never've met us.
 * Zelda/Dorothy: I could've done without the three of you. A teenage girl... skipping down the road with three dudes... I'd have to sleep with my hands between my legs! Thank God, I have the dog!
 * (Itchy/Toto barks)
 * Paddington/Tin Man: You didn't have to be afraid of me, Dorothy.
 * Zelda/Dorothy: Beleive me. I picked up on that right away, TINSEL TOES.
 * (Paddington/Tin man is offended)
 * Zelda/Dorothy: So, how do I get home, you witch?
 * Angelica/Glinda: Just click your heels.
 * Zelda/Dorothy: CLICK MY HEELS?!?! Listen, baby talk, I'm about a hair away from punching you in the face!!
 * Paddington/Tin Man: Please don't talk like--
 * Zelda/Dorothy: Zip it, homo. So, I click my heels... then what? Better be more complicated than that or I'm gonna go balistic!!
 * Angelica/Glinda: Oh, it's much more complicated than that. You have to click your heels and say... (waves wand) "There's no place like home. There's no place like home."
 * (Zelda/Dorothy knocks the wand out of Angelica/Glinda's hand)
 * Angelica/Glinda: And you would've been home in two seconds.
 * Zelda/Dorothy: I coulda been home TWO SECONDS after I got here?!?!
 * Angelica/Glinda: Oh, there are many other ways you could've gotton home. You could've... clapped your hands... you could've winked or brush your eyelash. You could've sneezed or turn your head quickly. Any of those ways and would've been home.
 * Zelda/Dorothy: YOU PHSYCO GLITTER BITCH!! (attacks Angelica/Glinda and starts to strangle her)
 * (The rest of the gang holds Zelda/Dorothy back)
 * Zelda/Dorothy: I almost went up in a balloon with that crazy old man. You're enjoying this, aren't you? YOU SICK F*CK!!! You're so much worse than the other witches. Well, at least I knew where I stood with them. You're two-faced!
 * Angelica/Glinda: Oh... I was just trying to help you. I was trying to teach you a lesson.
 * Zelda/Dorothy: TEACH ME A LESSON?!? Your not my parents!!! MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!!!!! I live with my Impa and three creepy animal who are pawing at me everyday and telling me how pretty I look in my checkered dress! TEACH ME A LESSON! HOW DARE YOU?!! (attemps to strangle Glinda again)
 * (Goofy/The Cowardly Lion and the Orinoco/Scarecrow try to break it up)
 * Zelda/Dorothy: C'mon cotton candy!!! (continues to beat up Angelica/Glinda)
 * Paddington/Tin Man: This is terrible. Someone's gonna get hurt! (taps heels) There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. (appears in a bedroom)
 * Admiral DeGill/Tin Man #2: (in bed, as well) Do, Do. Wake up!
 * Paddington/Tin Man: There's no place like home. Oh my god, DeGill. I just had the most insane Zelda dream.
 * Admiral DeGill #2: Awwe. My big strong paddington bear had a bad night? Oh, you need a little TLC, if you know what I mean.
 * Paddington/Tin Man: Oh, no you won't.
 * Admiral DeGill/Tin Man #2: Oh, let me get the oil can.
 * Paddington/Tin Man: Oh, don't you dare.
 * (Admiral DeGill/Tin Man #2 starts oiling)
 * Paddington/Tin Man: Oh, oh. Whoopdee Doo! (steam comes out of the top of Paddington/Tin Man's head)
 * Narrative: THE END