Better Than No One (DJ and Mercy Version)

"Better Than No One" is a song featured on the Mercy's Meeting album The song opens with DJ tap-dancing, with Mercy thinking that she looks stupid in doing so. However, DJ convinces Mercy to join him, after which they sing about their odd friendship.

Cast

 * DJ as Stimpy
 * Mercy as Ren Hoek

Lyrics

 * [Speech]
 * Mercy: DJ! What's all that racket about?
 * DJ: I'm tap-dancing, Mercy! Pretty good, huh?
 * Mercy: It just sounds like noise to me! And you look even more stupid than usual.
 * DJ: Oh, pshaw! Tap-dancing is fun, Mercy. Why don't you join me?
 * Mercy: Ohhh, no! I'm no idiot.
 * DJ: Oh, come on. No one will ever see you.
 * Mercy: No way!
 * DJ: Just put these shoes on and move your feet...
 * Mercy: BACK OFF, MAN! I can do it...
 * DJ: Now, don't you feel better?
 * Mercy: Hey! This is fun! You're right, DJ. I'm sorry I'm all the time so mean to you.
 * DJ: Think nothin' of it, buddy!
 * Mercy: Pal!
 * [Singing]
 * DJ: It's really great to have a chum
 * Who's kind and caring and lots of fun
 * She slaps me around when I feel blue
 * Only a pal would do that for you
 * Her name is Mercy and when it comes to no mercy
 * No one is better!
 * [Speech]
 * Your turn, pal!
 * Mercy: OK, buddddd... [DJ steps on her foot] (Screams in pain) YOU IDIOT! If you're going to tap-dance, do it on your own two feet!
 * DJ: Whoops.
 * [Singing]
 * Mercy: He's really fat, [DJ burps] but I admit
 * DJ: What's that, Mercy?
 * Mercy: He's not so dumb...
 * DJ: Joy!
 * Mercy: ...for an idiot!
 * I hate the smell of his stinky litter box
 * And when he fills me to my stay-put socks
 * He's lost his mind, but when I'm in a bind
 * He's better than no one!
 * Would you comb my hair?
 * DJ: With glee!
 * Mercy: Would you shave my tongue?
 * DJ: For free!
 * Mercy: Would you cleanse my spleen?
 * DJ: Whoopee!
 * Both: You're the friend for me!
 * Mercy: My friend to the end...
 * DJ: That's me! That's me!
 * Mercy: ...Which I hope is soon...
 * DJ: She hopes is soon!
 * Mercy: ...Has a head full of air...
 * DJ: A head full of air?
 * Mercy: ...like a red balloon!
 * DJ: (Squeals) A balloon head? Wow! What a great thing to be!
 * You always say the nicest things to me.
 * Mercy: You're a fool!
 * DJ: But I think you're cool.
 * No one is better!
 * Would you tell me a story?
 * Mercy: No way.
 * DJ: Would you pick my nose?
 * Mercy: For pay...
 * DJ: Would you scratch my back?
 * Mercy: No!
 * DJ: Pluck my brows?
 * Mercy: No!
 * DJ: Clean my box?
 * Mercy: (Screams)
 * DJ: Lick my skin?
 * [Speech]
 * Mercy: Alright, DJ! That's it! I've had enough of your stuuuuuupid questions! The answer is NO! No, I tell you! A thousand times, NOOOOOOO!
 * DJ: Oh, just asking.
 * [Singing]
 * Mercy: We're opposites by nature.
 * DJ: She's a woman, and I'm a man, I think.
 * Mercy: But put us both together...
 * DJ: ...And we're a perfect match!
 * Mercy: Shut up.
 * DJ: Yes, sir!
 * I'm glad she's here to tell me what to do!
 * Mercy: Aw, somebody's got to think for you.
 * You may be a dud, but when I need a bud
 * You're better than no one!
 * DJ: No one is better!
 * Mercy: You're better than...
 * DJ: No one is...
 * Mercy: Better than...
 * DJ: No one...
 * Both: No one... is better.

Gallery
TBA

Trivia

 * The exchange at the beginning of the song is similar to what happened in Nurse DJ.