DucktheGWREngineFan9's Take Along Edward's Exploit (George Carlin) Remake.

Characters

 * Bertie
 * Edward
 * A Light Red Coach
 * A Green Coaches
 * Two Dark Red Coaches
 * A Tan Coach
 * Henry
 * Green and Yellow Express Coach 1
 * Red and White Express Coach 1
 * Red Express Coach 1
 * James
 * Green and Yellow Express Coach 2
 * Two Dark Red Coaches
 * Two Light Red Coaches
 * Green and Yellow Express Coach 3
 * Tan Express Coach 1
 * Red and White Express Coach 2
 * Green Express Coach 1
 * Red Express Coach 2
 * Boco
 * Duck
 * Bill
 * Ben
 * Cabooses
 * Troublesome Trucks

Transcript

 * Narrator: Bertie the Bus was giving some visitors the tour on the Island of Sodor. (Edward, coupled to five coaches, struggles to break away from the station, but finds it hard to start the heavy train, then hears Henry, with his green and yellow coach, his red and white coach, and red coach, James, hauling his green and yellow coach and four red coaches, and Gordon, pulling his green and yellow coach, tan coach, red and white coach, green coach, and red coach, talking about him) It was their last afternoon, and Edward was preparing to take them to meet Bill and Ben. He found it hard to start the heavy train.
 * Henry: Did you see him straining?
 * Narrator: Asked Henry.
 * James: Positively painful.
 * Narrator: Remarked James.
 * Gordon: Just pathetic.
 * Narrator: Grunted Gordon.
 * Gordon: He should give up and be preserved before it's too late.
 * Duck: Shut up!
 * Narrator: Burst out Duck.
 * Duck: You're all jealous. Edward's better than any of you.
 * BoCo: You're right, Duck.
 * Narrator: Said BoCo.
 * BoCo: Edward's old, but he'll surprised us all.
 * Edward: I've done it, we're off! I've done it, we're off! (finally pulls out of the station toward the docks to meet Bill and Ben with four cabooses)
 * Narrator: Said Edward, as he finally puffed out of the station. Bill and Ben were delighted to see the visitors. (Bill and Ben take the visitors in their four cabooses toward the China Clay Works) They loved being photographed. Later, they took the party to the China Clay Works in the break van special. Everyone have a splendid time, and the visitors were most impressed. Then, Edward took the visitors home. (Edward takes the visitors, but ends up being buffered by the wind and rain, and accidentally breaks one of his coupling rods apart) On the way, the weather changed. Wind and rain buffered in Edward. His sanding gear failed, and his fireman rode in front dropping sand on the rails by hand. Suddenly, Edward's wheels slipped fiercely and with a shrieking crack, something broke. The crew inspected the damage. Repairs took some time.
 * Driver: One of your crank pins broke, Edward?
 * Narrator: Said his driver.
 * Driver: We've taken your side rods off. Now you're like an old fashioned engine. Can you get these people home? They must start back tonight?
 * Edward: I'll try, sir.
 * Narrator: Promised Edward. Edward puffed and pulled his hardest. (Edward tries to start again, but finds his wheels slipping, and can't start the heavy train) But his wheels kept slipping, and he couldn't start the heavy train. The passengers were anxious. The driver, fireman and conductor went along the train, making adjustments between the coaches.
 * Driver: We've loosened the couplings, Edward. Now you can pick up your coaches one by one, just as you do with freight cars.
 * Edward: That'll be much easier.
 * Narrator: Said Edward.
 * Edward: Come on!
 * Narrator: He puffed, and moved cautiously forward. The first coach moving help to start the second and the second help the third. (Edward finally manages to get the whole train rolling toward Knapford station)
 * Edward: I've done it, I've done it!
 * Narrator: Puffed Edward.
 * Driver: Steady, boy.
 * Narrator: Said his driver.
 * Driver: Well done, boy! You've got them, you've got them!
 * Narrator: And he listened happily to Edward's steady beat, as he forced slowly but surely ahead. At last, battered, wearly, but unbeaten, Edward steamed in. Henry was waiting for the visitors with the special train.
 * Edward: Peep peep! (arrives at Knapford station to meet Henry, hauling his green and yellow coach, red and white coach, and red coach)
 * Narrator: Sir Topham Hatt angrily pointed to the clock, but excited passengers cheered and thanked Edward, his driver and fireman. Duck and BoCo saw to it that Edward was left in peace. Gordon and James remain respectfully silent.