Elmo Says BOO!/Transcript

"Bones (Inside of You)"
Count von Count: Feel your fingers, feel your toes Grab your elbow, pinch your nose Touch your ankle, tap your knees Give your chin a little squeeze You'll feel something hard inside And it can not be denied What you feel seems hard as stone And it's something called the bone

Oh there are bones, bones, bones, bones Bones inside of you Bones, bones, bones, bones More than just a few So many you can count them Amazing but it's true There are bones, bones, bones, bones Bones inside of you

There are bones inside your hand In your feet to help you stand In your elbow and your heel Lots of lovely bones to feel Though your bones are hard to see Still you have them just like me They are not outside but in Yes they're underneath your skin

Yes there are bones, bones, bones, bones Bones inside of you Bones, bones, bones, bones More than just a few So many you can count them Amazing but it's true There are bones, bones, bones, bones Bones inside of you

(spoken) Now, when you put all those bones together, you may come up with something we call a skeleton. Remember that word, it's one of my favourites. And now, boys and girls, I will tell you what happens if you didn't have any bones ...

(sung) If you had no bones at all Then you couldn't run or crawl And you couldn't stand up straight Or eat dinner off your plate Without bones we'd all fall down Just like puddles on the ground Just like melted ice-cream cones If we didn't have our bones

Yes, there are bones, bones, bones, bones Bones inside of you Bones, bones, bones, bones More than just a few So many you can count them Amazing but it's true There are bones, bones, bones, bones Bones inside of you

(spoken) And now the most fun of all, I will count all the bones I can think of. The toe bone, that's one, the heel bone is two, the ankle bone is three, shin bone, four, knee bone, five, hip bone, six, rib bones that's seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven .... I love counting bones, ah, ah, ah, ah!

"Transylvania 1-2-3-4-5"
Lillian: When you're down in Transylvania And the night begins to fall You might get to feeling lonely If you do give me a call

Just dial Transylvania 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Transylvania 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Transylvania 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

The Count: (conducting the orchestra) 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, oh yeah!

Lillian: It gets cold in Transylvania And the winter nights are long I'll come by and you'll feel warmer Dial the number from this song

Just dial Transylvania 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Transylvania 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Transylvania 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

The Count: 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 ...

Lillian: (spoken) Count! Stop at 5!

The Count: Oh, I'm sorry, Lillian, you know how I get once I get started.

Lillian: I've got one more verse, try to get it right!

It's dark in Transylvania And the wolves begin to moan And if it sounds too scary You can call me on the phone

Just dial, come on, everyone!

Transylvania 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Transylvania 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Transylvania 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

The Count: 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 ...

Lillian: (spoken) Count! The song stops at 5. How many times do I have to tell you that?

The Count: Only one ... no, two, ... make that three times .... four times .... five times would be perfect .... six would be wonderful ... but, seven, if you could see your way through to ... eight ...

"We Are All Monsters"
Harvey Monster: (to Clancy) [Hey, you don't look like me!]

Clancy: [And you don't look like me.]

Elmo: [He doesn't look like Elmo.]

Kermit the Forg: [Yes, we're all different, but we're the same, 'cause we are all monsters!]

(music starts, they all start dancing)

Harvey Monster: I am blue

Clancy: I am green

Elmo: I am red

Kermit the Forg: I am gray

Harvey Monster: What's the difference, anyway?

All: We are all monsters!

Harvey Monster: I am fat

Clancy: I am thin

Elmo: I am short

Kermit the Forg: I am tall

Elmo: Doesn't matter much at all

All: We are all monsters!

Harvey Monster: And we love to play together

Clancy: And we love to stay together

Elmo: To spend a day together

Kermit the Forg: And we sing this song together

All: 'Cause we get along together

(all laugh and dance)

Harvey Monster: Different noses, ears and eyes-es

Clancy: Different colours, shapes and sizes

Elmo: We could all win beauty prizes

Harvey Monster: Yes, we're happy girls and guys-es

All: 'Cause we're together We are all monsters!

(all laugh and dance and run around, then march up to the camera)

Ernie and Bert: Egyptian Mummies
(The scene is the inside of a pyramid. A statue’s foot comes into view as Bert and Ernie enter.)

Bert: Wow, isn’t this terrific, Ernie? A real Egyptian pyramid!

Ernie: Uh, I don’t know, Bert. I’m afraid.

Bert: Afraid of what? I mean, this is wonderful! Look at all the exciting new discoveries!

Ernie: Yeah …

Bert: Look at all the knowledge here! This pyramid must be centuries or thousands even of years old! This is great! Look at the hieroglyphics, all this funny writing!

Ernie: Pretty spooky to me, Bert!

Bert: Oh boy! How exciting! And look at this! Look at this funny statue!

(He beckons toward a statue in a case that looks like Ernie but is wearing glasses and has a black goatee.)

Ernie: That’s a pretty neat statue!

Bert: This one’s a handsome statue!

(Beckons toward a statue of himself wearing glasses and a mustache.)

This is nice.

Ernie: I think I prefer this one!

(Beckons toward his lookalike statue)

Bert: We have all kind of different tastes. Boy, oh boy. Isn’t this exciting?

Ernie: I don’t know, Bert. I’m still --- Let’s go home!

Bert: Why?

Ernie: ‘Cause I’m kind of afraid, Bert.

Bert: Oh, Ernie, this is a wonderful opportunity. I mean we spend all this time getting here! C’mon, c’mon, follow me! Okay. Let’s look around some more!

Ernie: Yeah, Bert.

Bert: Oh, Ernie, look! Look at this! It’s a spooky dark tunnel here! You wanna join me?

Ernie: I think I’ll wait here, Bert.

Bert: Okay, I’ll take a look! (Goes into tunnel) Wow!

Ernie: Oh dear. Maybe Bert’s right. Maybe there isn’t anything to be afraid of! It’s all in my imagination!

(Walks over to statues)

I’ll just go over here, and look at these statues over here. Hmm. Look at that.

(He looks at the Bert statue’s mustache.)

(Ernie Statue taps Ernie with his cane)

Ernie: (turns around slowly) Bert? Bert? Did you tap me? Bert’s not here! Who tapped me?

(Ernie Statue reaches out his cane to tap Ernie a second time and scares Ernie)

AHHHHH! BERT!!!!!! BERT!!!!!!!

Bert: (comes out of the tunnel) What, Ernie? What is it? What?

Ernie: Bert … Bert, this statue tapped me!

Bert: This statue tapped you?

Ernie: It did, Bert!

Bert: This statue here made of stone thousands of years old tapped you?

Ernie: That’s right, Bert!

Bert: Ernie, don’t you think you were using your imagination? It didn’t really tap you, you were just imagining it? Now c’mon, leave me alone, I’m gonna go explore this tunnel! (Goes back into tunnel) Oh boy, oh boy!

Ernie: Maybe it was my imagination! You didn’t tap me, did you Statue?

Ernie Statue: Sure I did! (Trademark Ernie laugh)

Ernie: BERT!!!!

Bert: What is it, Ernie?

Ernie: This statue just talked to me, Bert!

Bert: What?

Ernie: This statue talked to me, Bert!

Bert: This statue that tapped you before, and now it talked to you?

Ernie: Talked to me!

Bert: Oh, it talked to you! Well, then let’s let it talk then! C’mon, Statue, talk! C’mon, Statue, talk! Uh, what’s the capital of Delaware?

Ernie: Come on, Statue, say something!

(Statue says nothing)

Bert: Okay, uh, where did I park my bicycle?

(Once again, Statue says nothing)

Bert: Ernie, come here. Don’t you think maybe, maybe that it was your imagination? Maybe you just let your imagination run away with you ‘cause you were so scared?

Ernie: Maybe, Bert.

Bert: Why don’t you sing a song? Hmm? That’ll make you feel better! You won’t be that scared, then!

Ernie: Okay, Bert! (Bert goes back into the tunnel)

(Ernie begins to sing “Rubber Ducky” and Ernie Statue soon joins in! They dance and sing until Bert comes out of the tunnel)

Ernie: Hey, Bert!

Bert: What? What are you doing?

Ernie: Me and the statue are dancing, Bert! He’s a great dancer!

Bert: The statue’s dancing now?

Ernie: And singing too!

Bert: Ernie, why don’t we just go home?

Ernie: But the statue knows “Rubber Ducky”, Bert!

Bert: Sure, sure, c’mon, let’s go home.

Ernie: But, honest, we were dancing!

Bert: Sure, let’s go home!

Ernie: (begins to leave) But … Bye-bye, Statue!

Bert: Yeah, uh, bye-bye, Statue! (His trademark sheep “ahhhhh” thing)

Ernie Statue: Bye-bye! (trademark Ernie laugh)

Bert: ERNIE!!!!!!!! (leaves)

"Frazzle"
Blue Frazzletone: There's a monster name of Frazzle Who's a good friend of mine Lavender Monster: He looks ferocious, but he's really fine Blue Frazzletone and Lavender Monster: Go up and ask him for his autograph Maurice Monster: He'd be so happy that he'd start to laugh

Blue Frazzletone, Lavender Monster and Maurice Monster: He goes Argh! That's how he laughs He goes Argh! That means he's glad He goes Argh! That means he's having The greatest time that he ever had

Blue Frazzletone: Now you know my buddy Frazzle He's got fangs on his jaws Lavender Monster: His fur is orange, and he's got these claws Blue Frazzletone and Lavender Monster: He looks so mean that he could scare a crowd Maurice Monster: But if you tickle him he laughs out loud

Blue Frazzletone, Lavender Monster and Maurice Monster: He goes Argh! That's how he laughs He goes Argh! That means he's glad He goes Argh! That means he's having The greatest time that he ever had

Blue Frazzletone: Mr. Frazzle has emotions like the rest of us do Lavender Monster: Sometimes he feels low down and ugly, too Blue Frazzletone and Lavender Monster: And then the tears begin to fill his eyes Maurice Monster: It's so pathetic when a monster cries

Blue Frazzletone, Lavender Monster and Maurice Monster: He goes Argh! That's how he cries He goes Argh! That means he's sad He goes Argh! That means he's having The lowest time that he ever had

Argh! That means he's hungry Argh! That means he's hot Argh! That means he's sleepy Argh! That means he's not Argh! That means yes Argh! That means no Argh! Means thank you for the dinner But, it's getting very late and I really must go Frazzle: Argh!

"The Batty Bat"
[Scene: A room in the Count’s castle]

Count: In old Transylvania, when I was a lad Our castle was poor, but we never were sad We learned to be happy! We’d dance ‘round the hall And learning to count was the key to it all By counting each count, I knew just where to start And one special step has stayed close to my heart

[He begins to waltz about the room.]

One, two, three, spread out the cape One, two, three, twirl ‘round the floor One, two, three, left foot you swing One, two, three, then start to sing One, two, three, loud as you please! One, two, three, counting with ease! One, two, three, doing the batty bat!

Bats: Batty, batty bat; batty bat; batty bat; batty bat!

Count: One, two, three, count!

Bats: Batty, batty bat; batty bat; batty bat; batty bat!

Count: One, two, three, count!

Bats: Batty, batty bat; batty bat; batty bat; batty bat!

Count: One, two, three, count! Won’t you dance with me, doing the batty bat?

[speaking]

Ah, my happy childhood in the Carpathian mountains! How well I remember!

[singing]

So now, in my own castle, I can enjoy This wonderful dance that I learned as a boy I see just how wise was my whole family They taught me to count, and so now look at me! I’m counting and dancing, and I swear that it’s true ... If you do the same, you will be happy, too!

[speaking]

Come! We try again!

[He resumes waltzing and singing]

One, two, three, spread out the cape One, two, three, twirl ‘round the floor One, two, three, left foot you swing One, two, three, then start to sing One, two, three, loud as you please! One, two, three, counting with ease! One, two, three, doing the batty bat!

Bats: Batty, batty bat; batty bat; batty bat; batty bat!

Count: One, two, three, count!

Bats: Batty, batty bat; batty bat; batty bat; batty bat!

Count: One, two, three, count!

Bats: Batty, batty bat; batty bat; batty bat; batty bat!

Count: One, two, three, count! Won’t you dance with me, doing the batty bat?

[He says some lines I don’t recall as the music and the bats continue.]

[singing]

Won’t you dance with me, doing the batty bat? Batty bat! Ha ha!

[The usual thunder and lightning follow as he laughs.]