Colonel Hathi and the Elephants

(Next morning, the Mane Seven, Spike, the eight Looney Tunes, Mowgli and Bagheera are still asleep)

(Something stamps on the ground)

Elephants: (spoken) Hup two three four  Keep it up two three four  Hup two three four  Keep it up two three four

(Mowgli wakes up, yawns and turns to see what it is)

Mowgli: A parade!

(Bagheera wakes up)

Bagheera: Oh, no. The dawn patrol again. (sighs)

(Sunset Shimmer wakes up)

Sunset Shimmer: What is that?

Sci-Twi: It sounds like the parade of the elephants.

Rainbow Dash: Let's go and see.

(Mowgli sneaks and swings down the tree while the Mane Seven, Spike, and the eight Looney Tunes climb down)

Colonel Hathi: Company sound off!

Elephants: (sing) Oh, the aim of our patrol Is a question rather droll For to march and drill (trumpet)

Colonel Hathi: (sings) Is a military goal!

Elephants: (sing) Is a military goal! (spoken) Hup two three four Dress it up two three four Hup two three four Dress it up two three four (sings) By the ranks or single file Over every jungle mile Oh we stamp and crush Through the underbrush

(Hathi Jr. trumpets squeaky)

Hathi Jr.: (sings) In a military style!

Elephants: (sings) In a military style!

Mowgli: Hello. What are you doing?

Hathi Jr.: Shh! Drilling.

Mowgli: Can I do it, too?

Hathi Jr.: Sure. Just do what I do. But don't talk in ranks. It's against regulations.

(Mowgli learns to drill like an elephant)

Colonel Hathi: To the rear, March!

(Hathi Jr. bumps at Mowgli)

Hathi Jr.: The other way. Turn around.

(Mowgli turns around)

Colonel Hathi: (sings and speaks) Hup two three four (The Mane Seven, Spike, and the eight Looney Tunes march) Keep it up two three four

Colonel Hathi: To the rear, ho!

(Hathi Jr. turns around)

(Mowgli looks back and runs back to Hathi Jr.)

Colonel Hathi: Company, halt!

(Mowgli bumps at Hathi Jr.)

Hathi Jr.: That means "stop".

Colonel Hathi: Company, left face!

(The elephants turn and stand)

Winifred: March, march, march. My feet are killing me.

Elephant: I'm putting in for a transfer to another heard.

Colonel Hathi: Silence in the ranks!

(The elephants straight up)

(Colonel Hathi walks to check on their legs)

Colonel Hathi: Dress up that line.

(The elephants' legs stand and straight up)

(Colonel Hathi hits Winifred to make her legs stand and straight up)

Winifred: Ooh!

Colonel Hathi: (clears his throat) Uh, pull it in, Winifred.

(Colonel Hathi walks where he stood)

Colonel Hathi: Inspecton...Arms!

(The elephants straight their trunks up)

Hathi Jr.: (whispers) Stick your nose out.

Mowgli: (whispers) Like this?

Hathi Jr.: That's right.

(Colonel Hathi checks one of the elephants' trunks)

Colonel Hathi: (tongue clicking) A dusty muzzle. Soldier, remember, in battle, that trunk can save your life. Take good care of it, my man.

Elephant #1: Yes, sir.

Colonel Hathi: Very good. Carry on. (The second of the elephants eats a plant)

(Colonel Hathi clears his throat)

(Eating continues and then stops)

Colonel Hathi: Let's have a little more spit and polish on those bayonets.

Elephant #2: Yes, sir.

Colonel Hathi: Esprit de corps. That's the way I earned my commission in the Maharajah's Fifth Pachyderm Brigade. Back in '88, it was...Or...Or was it?

Winifred: Here it comes. The Victoria Cross bit again.

Colonel Hathi: It was then I received the Victoria Cross, for bravery above and beyond the call of duty. Ha ha! Those were the days. Discipline! Discipline was the thing. Builds character and that sort of thing, you know. (stick breaks) Eh...Uh...Oh. Uh, where was I? Oh, yes, Inspection. (clears throat) Well, very good. (The third elephant smiles) Wipe off that silly grin, soldier. This is the army. (It frowns) (Fly buzzes) (clears throat and hits a fly with his stick) Eyes front. (The fourth elephant opens his eyes) (clicks his tongue) Lietenant, that haircut is not regulation. (straights the fifth elephant's hair with his stick) Rather on the gaudy side, don't you think? (cuts his hair) There. That's better. And as for you...Oh, there you are. (Hathi Jr. smiles) (chuckles) Let's keep those heel together, shall we, son?

Hathi Jr.: Ok, Pop. (straights his heels up) Sir.

Colonel Hathi: Yes, now that's better. Well, a new recruit, eh? (laughs) I say, (pokes Mowgli's nose) what happened to your trunk?

Mowgli: Hey! Stop that!

(Colonel Hathi gasps and sputters)

Colonel Hathi: A man cub! Ohh, this is treason! (Picks Mowgli with his trunk) Sabotage! I'll have no man cub in my jungle! (puts Mowgli down)

Mowgli: It's not your jungle!

Bagheera: (runs to Colonel Hathi) Hold it! Hold it! I can explain, Hathi.

Colonel Hathi: Colonel Hathi, if you please, sir.

Bagheera: Oh, yes, yes. Colonel Hathi. The man cub is with me. I'm taking home back to the man-village.

Colonel Hathi: To stay?

Bagheera: You have the word of Bagheera.

Colonel Hathi: Good. And remember, an elephant never forgets. (mutters) I don't know what the army's coming to these days. These young whippersnappers. Who do they think they are? (clears throat) Let's get on with it! (The elephants straight up) Right face! Forward march!

(The elephants march)

Winifred: Dear, haven't you forgotten something?

Colonel Hathi: Nonsense, Winfred, old girl. An elephant never forgets.

Winifred: Well, you just forgot our son.

Colonel Hathi: Uh, our...Son? Son! Oh, yes, yes, yes. Quite right. To the rear, march!

(The elephants turn around)

Hathi Jr.: When I grow up, I'm gonna be a colonel just like my...

Colonel Hathi: If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times...

Hathi Jr.: Pop! Look out!

(The elephants bump at him as he falls down and they fall on the ground too)

Hathi Jr.: Gee, Pop, you forgot to say "halt".

(The Mane Seven laugh)

(Bugs laughs)

(Foghorn laughs)

(Daffy laughs)

(Wile laughs)

(Lola giggles)

(Pepe laughs)

(Mowgli giggles)

Mowgli: He said an elephant never forgets.

(Laughs and then stops)

Bagheera: It's not funny. Let's get out of here quick before anything else happens.

(The Mane Seven, Spike, the eight Looney Tunes, Bagheera, and Mowgli run into the forest)